The time is now?

I've been thinking about making a blog.. and so I guess the time is now. A few days before final projects and finals take place, of course. I feel that timing doesn't really matter these days, as I always have a stack of things to do at any given time. It's more, making things priorities when deadlines approach more than timing my tasks when the time is best for each. Sadly.

I wish I had a blog all throughout college. Starting one with one semester to go isn't too great, but hopefully I'll keep it up. Reflecting back is always fun and perhaps will prevent mental breakdowns.

So right now, I had one of those 'me' time days. Went to the last football game and it was kind of nostalgic and surreal. I mean, I'm kind of over going to these games, they're not special anymore I guess. I think this is a good thing though, it's like I've accumulated so much Berkeley baggage these years it will feel nice starting over somewhere after graduation. It's like driving around your hometown, or in my case, either PG or Ojai, and imagining that if you had a friend visiting from school or abroad, all the stories you could tell them as you pass by certain buildings/people. I've gotten to the point in Berkeley that pretty much anything I here I have a funny story to tell. Like 'Summer 07' stories, crazy nights, projects, drama, random run-ins, etc. Well, mainly crazy night stories I guess. I feel like I have so many that my memories blend together. It will be really lonely to try to remember these accurately after graduation, if I don't have anyone around that was there with me to fact-check. And in comparison to HS memories, these are much more... dynamic stories.

So I'm watching Harry Potter on TV now. Last night was fun though - RCSA party where I turned from the babysitter to the babysittee.. I awoke to find uneaten chicken La Burrita super nachos, 1/4 empty huge Ice Tea can, and in the same clothes from the night before. sigh, c'est la vie of me. At least I wasn't on the futon with the TV blaring.

It's hard to believe how fast this semester passed.. Football games, Bears Lair, the dungeon, iaeste, rcsa, halloween, thanksgiving.. I think I studied once, for 150 midterm. which was basically just reading the relevant chapters in the book. It felt, surprisingly, really good to study. Which again makes me hate the berkeley baggage i've accumulated. I'm here to learn, to study.. and I barely have enough time to do that. I guess grad school sounds appealing because grad students really do get to concentrate on their work. But, i don't know if it's for me. perhaps mba would be more useful. i don't think i'm motivated enough at this point to go right into grad school. I need a break. From life. From humanity. Time is of the essence these days and no matter how efficient I am in juggling all the different things on my to do list, I can never get ahead. Never get a break. 100's of emails a day and i take on everyone else's worries. These stress me out, a lot. Berkeley baggage.

I want to read books. I want to watch movies. I want to learn something new every day. I am totally, completely out of the loop on current events and pop culture things today. The last time I was in a movie theatre.....?

I find this ridiculous and depressing. this isn't really a life, at least how I want to live it. I want to complete my Berkeley Bucket List because I never want to regret. I want to live in a way that regrets don't even exist. To attain that, I think I need to find enjoyment in the small things and accept randomness. A motto I cemented in my mind sophomore year was 'people are weird, I accept it'. I have really saved myself a lot of confusion and heartache by repeating this mantra when faced with strange people and their strange behavior. I highly recommend it. But anyways, my overambitious goal is to write a blog (however short it needs to be) every day. I hope this will calm my mind (prevent myself from going crazy), preserve some memories from being lost in my horrible memory, and so I reflect later upon how my outlook has changed.
The end.